Some thoughts

Generally it is wise for me not to worry so much about the things that are going on around me, especially when it starts getting later at night. The fact of the matter is, that I am starting to get more and more worried about leaving and being in the States. Last time that I was there I had a really hard time leaving, because of the amazing friendships that I had built up. And now, I find myself in a similar situation. Now this time, I may very well never see some of these other people ever again. Its an interesting thing, goodbyes... Im not trying to get all deep and meaningful, it's just that we tend to think of things as being really important and life altering, and really scary while they are happening, and in the end we discover that we got all worked up for nothing. In Matthew 6:25-34 God is pretty clear about what He wants us to do. He wants us to trust Him, and not worry about all the little things that we think that we do that will throw our whole lives into a state of doom and despair.

Honestly, the thing that gets me the most is, as my time is running out here in the Philippines, I am realizing that there are so many things that I want to do, and there is so little time to do it. I want to end well, and I think that I am going to do a pretty good job of it this time, and not leave wounds that will be as hard to heal. Don't get me wrong, it is certainly going to hurt when I go. I know that the people here mean the world to me, and it will be hard to see them go, as I too am sent off.

This has certainly gotten a certain emotional flare to it now, and that was not my intention. I'm simply needing to look to my Father in this time of change. Change. Aside from death and taxes the only thing you can be sure of is uncertainty. I need to remember. I need to remember that God is in control of everything. Even though I feel like things are falling apart, and even though I feel like I need to do something to fix it, I know that He is bigger then I. He is I AM. And I am not.