"I'm fine"

Simply stated things are going pretty good.

But things are not usually simply stated. Things have a level of detail that few people are willing to delve into. Its understandable. When a person asks you how you are doing and you respond with an ok, people are generally fine. I've got to wonder though. Why do we subject ourselves to this cryptic sort of deception. Why is it that in society we are expected to always be fine, or ok. I'm not saying that people should pour out their souls to anyone who is trying to be polite and pose a nice question of how the person is doing. I just think that it is interesting that for the most part people are not going to say they are doing poorly if they are. Occasionally they will, its just interesting how we tend to fear being less then good, even though it is a state of being that everyone finds themselves in from time to time.

I'm not sure why i got off on this today, cause honestly I haven't been frustrated with this much recently, and I feel like for the most part I have been doing a good job of being honest with the people that care about me. I'm not looking for people to stop beating around the bush so that I may know all. I think that really, ultimately, I tell myself it is fine a lot, even though it isn't true.

Simply stated things really are going pretty good.

I am finishing up this year pretty soon though, and with a lot of joy, and excitement comes a level of unease, and to be honest, fear. Last night I was reading in my Bible in Isaiah 40 and I came to verse 31 where God tells the people of Judah that those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings of eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint. That word, renew has a certain relevance to me right now. So often I tell myself that I have everything under control. That I'm not going to worry about leaving my Philippine home. That leaving my family is going to be a good transition free of hardship. That I will be able to say goodbye well and not leave any loose ends. Honestly though, I am not doing a good job of anything right now on my own. It is when I say that I have everything taken care of that I find I loose my strength to be able to be a good worker, son, brother, and friend.

When I simply say that things are going good there is another level to it

God. God is my strength in this time of transition when I feel like I am making a mess of everything. Honestly, I have not been trusting in Him enough in this time that I need Him the most. I have not been praying constantly like I should. I have been going, going, going, and I haven't really stopped and rested and talked to my Daddy. I am starting to get tired and worn out, and honestly there are a lot of things that I still need to do before I go, and it can be overwhelming.

But guess what.

Those who give everything up and put their hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will be able to finish their school work. They will be able to say goodbye. They will be able to love every person in the way they should. They will be able to get things in the future in order.

They will run and not grow weary,

They will walk and not grow faint.